Pygmy Marmoset

The Pygmy Marmoset

Strengths: Only sleeps for 1 hour every day, Can survive on a pint of tree sap a year, Small enough to hide in your pocket, kinda adorable. 

Weaknesses: At constant war with large insects,  Always spazzing out, Cannot be taken seriously, The most annoying monkey. 

Star-Nosed Mole

Strengths: Good swimmer, nice claws, water-repellent fur, nose looks like its head

Weaknesses: Horrible kisser, disgusting face, constantly has a sinus infection, can never see where it's going

-Drew-

Yeti Crab

Yeti Crab

Strengths: Has fur, Active participant in the gay community, Decedent of the Abominable Snowman

Weaknesses: Awkwardly insulated arms, Hunted to near extinction for its fur, Always told that it is just a figment of children's imagination. 

Note: Has seen Milk 4 times... in theaters.

Proboscis Monkey (The Worst)

***THE FOLLOWING IMAGES ARE TO BE VIEWED BY MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY. WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY DISCOMFORT EXPERIENCED.***

Strengths: Male's long noses attract the honeys, Longest noses of all primates, Can sing through their noses

Weaknesses: The worst animal on the face of the planet, male genitals hanging from their face, endangered

-Drew-

The Philippine Tarsier

The Philippine Tarsier

Strengths: Gamma Vision, only known alien species on earth, climbing suction fingers, species has only one sex.

Weaknesses: Prone to eye infections, always scared shitless, anti-social. 

Note: has a diet of insects and charcoal

The Sloth

Strengths: Nothing

Weaknesses: Everything... but mainly awkward

Angora Rabbit

***NOT A DOG***

Strengths: Boss of the Rabbit Mob. They have long wool to keep warm. They chilled real hard with French Royalty in the 1700s.

Weaknesses: Often confused with a dog. Can't see their own feet. Always look pissed off.

-Drew-